I will arrive in Kabul on the morning of the 25th which is the first day of their weekend. Work starts on Saturday March 27 go figure.
In the meanderings of my cobalt blue brain, I can see that this chapter of my life could be full of new experiences and world view understandings and this "job" may evolve into a wonderful opportunity both financially and personally. (I added this because my daughter Natalie thought the rest of this posting was too depressing. See her comment below) I love you Natalie. She is sitting here going through all the music for her upcoming lead role in the school musical "Once On This Island" based on novel My Love My Love by Rosa Guy.
Another awesome thing is that prodigal son Max will be coming out over spring break to hang with us in between his climbing trips. How cool is that!
In the meanderings of my cobalt blue brain, I can see that this chapter of my life could be full of new experiences and world view understandings and this "job" may evolve into a wonderful opportunity both financially and personally. (I added this because my daughter Natalie thought the rest of this posting was too depressing. See her comment below) I love you Natalie. She is sitting here going through all the music for her upcoming lead role in the school musical "Once On This Island" based on novel My Love My Love by Rosa Guy.
Another awesome thing is that prodigal son Max will be coming out over spring break to hang with us in between his climbing trips. How cool is that!
On a more somber note: The anvil of realization is beginning to dent my skull. Part of me is in a far distant realm where everything is as it should be although my inner Mr. Hyde is screaming at the top of his lungs. Kind of like that painting "the silent scream", hands to the cheeks, mouth opened, no sound coming out. Like I am yelling in the vacuum of space somehow cuz if I truly yell outloud, right now, something might break and that would be bad. Not good. Not going there. For now. So there you have it.
I don't think any of these freaky thoughts are from fear for my safety, more like "what have I got myself into" fear of flying. But fly I shall. I thought this blog might be a good way to let you all know what is going through my mind and as a future sidebar, what life in the "compound" is like in Kabul. I will apologize in advance if I go on an on about something or other, or wax poetic in a disembodied stupor, or rail and gnash my political teeth to bloody stumps. You will forgive me for that. It all comes from the heart and soul where all my demons survive in semi-anguished harmony. The demons have no choice really. They have hung in there with me for years and I have done a pretty good job of keeping them in check so far dontcha know, but I sense that this experience, this vault into the unknown will unearth thoughts and emotions buried. Or at least I would like to think that...kinda like how is that hope-y chang-y thing working for you. (ha ha ha a Sarah Palin quote, shoot me now)
So onward and upward through the fog I will go, trying to trust this "adventure" the world has pushed in front of me. Funny, this path doesn't look at all like gleaming light and soaring voices. I can't say it looks dark, it is just not the colorful Dali-esque masterpiece that I would imagine my life's summation would put forth in paint...you understand, powdered slopes full of hot tubs, breasts and great food, velvet paintings of Elvis and strong drink surrounded by smiling friends looking smugly satisfied in all they see...but I digress
Fuck all , I am going to Afghanistan. See the look on my face. To work. And the voices in my head chime, "This too will pass my friend, this too will pass".
Get on with this to will pass thing...I am as ready as I will ever be to floor this Ferrari of serendipity...
great peace to all...and to three weeks to "the leaving"
17 comments:
Natalie here, dad this is kinda depressing, I know how you are feeling but you should say something positive.
Welly well, This is really happening! I agree about NOT having a bon voyage party....just doesn't feel right on this end either. I do look forward to celebrating your return!
I'm half and half on this endeavor....all for the adventure and the doors or opportunity that are opening. I'll leave it at that for now....don't want to think about the other half.
Positivity! We'll raise a glass sometime before you leave!
Quoting Sarah? That is depressing, means you've been paying attention to her. Look forward to more.
Hey Lou,
I think the Light you carry will spread where it is needed. Just walk tall and use your inner sense to know when to stay and when to move.
Keeping you in the Light,
MaryChris
Lou -- I am still in "adventure mode" regarding your new endeavors -- just like the Peace Corps, only without the "peace" for the moment. You will be helping the poor abused Afghanis tremendously while you are there -- and helping your family as well. Your good efforts will be protected.
I feel as though the Sarah Palin quote was a nice touch. It helped put things into perspective. Such as the stupid shit she does here you'll still have to hear about while over there thus clarifying that yes, you are leaving, but however large the planet is you're still going to be able to fly back to see your family. I'll see you this weekend hopefully. -Jordan
Remember, eat your veggies, do your homework, and go to bed at a reasonable hour...........oh yes, wear your helmet in the shower!
I agree with natalie... A bit depressing but very eloquently written. Didn't you write a book once or something ;)
Something very strange just crossed my mind... Internship in Afghanistan?
Also... the ferrari of serendipity line is amazing. I'm stealing it.
Thanks to everyone for throwing their 6 cents in. I truly appreciate any and all comments. I am glad you like the Ferrari line Max. Sprinkle it with fairy dust and make it fly!!!
OK. For you Lou I just spent half a day getting on your blog. Your photos make us very homesick for Colorado. Wow. What love of place and "joie de vivre".
We have always seen you as an organizer of positive energies and maker of great harmonics in so many realms. In our minds and hearts we can't see you failing in any possible area. Here, there or anywhere.
You are big and your soul with its many talents is needed to bring light to us all.
We hear and understand your angst. So we are covering you with huge-hearty-hugs and lots of protective ju ju.
We will toast to the "gate" of your departure and return. Our very best California wine and glasses are raised.
Luv ya. Martin and Doris
And..I don't know how the word "art" just replaced our names in the ID line. Can you explain that?
Not sure where my original comment went. I think it is good now.
Breathe, Lou and remember that you are God in your universe, you created it so you can play in it and you can change it anytime you want to.
I trust you created this to be a amazing experience.
Namaste'
Peg
Each one of us has a unique relationship with each other and especially are big hearted Lou!!
Remember this amigo.....you are with us where ever you go! At this point, I'm cheering you on all the way!!! Go share some Co. love
To your success,
MM
Dear Lou, You may still be getting there. Are you no where or now here? My feeling is you are now here and will be present for many moons to come.
My thoughts this morning as Mike was leaving to meet up with you to go along to the airport were these, "here is this amazing 'peacnik' on his way to where peace is a very relative term. What a great way the Universe has of sending the peace energy where it is so very needed." Spread it all around and through everything.
Sending blessings your way and also to Bailey.
In Light and Love,
MaryChris
Hi there, we're all waiting with baited (blatted, baleful, blomish) breath for you next installment . . . are you too busy?? Love, Trice
What a great post, Lou! I didn't think you'd be bored, but what fun to pleased as well, yes?
Keep up the posts, this is quite an experience!
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